The consultant calls...

On Tuesday evening I got a call from a consultant at the eye unit, very nice consultant Mr T phoned and apologised for all the mix ups and revealed that they are still unable to find 10 years worth of my notes, the early ones about eye sugary I had at 11 weeks old onwards.

He said he wanted me to go in today (Wednesday) for some tests and to see a different consultant that specialises in the back of the eye Mr S.

So today I dropped everything and headed off to the eye unit/day centre for 1 o'clock.

The bus I normally take is called the U6H and is part of the Uni Link service, this goes round half of the world and then goes to the eye unit taking at least an hour. I took a different route to the bus stop than I normally would to try and save time, on the way I realised I was going to pass the First Buses office so popped in there to ask if there was a quicker bus. Less than 5 Minutes later I was on the number 4 heading to the hospital even better it took less than 20 minutes!

(Oh dear! I have just realised what a sad anorak I sound like sitting here blogging about bus timetables!)

So anyway arrived a bit early and was told to basically go away by the receptionist and come back at my appointment time,  so I went for a walk.

Then I did my distance vision test, and only managed finger counting with my right eye. This is where the nurse or whoever stands about a meter away from you and holds up fingers to see if you can count them. 

That's a deterioration because I can normally see the top letter of the eye chart from about 2-3 feet away, so great I have probably lost a bit tiny bit of vision, or quite possibly I am just having a bad day and if I where to do the test again tomorrow would do better who knows!

Then I got sent through to a new waiting room with comfy chairs and a water cooler absolute luxury compared to the other waiting room! I then got a call from a nurse who was tasked with explaining everything to me.

My pupils don't really get bigger or smaller with changes in lighting condition's so the nurse was unsure whether there was any point putting drops in my eyes to dilate my pupils so had to go off and ask a few people. 5 minutes later she re-appeared with a tissue for me so immediately knew it was eye drop time. I am indeed special and required 2 different types of eye drops to try and make the muscles in my iris dilate.

Then I had a few tests, a scan of the back of my eye which was like watching a funky laser light show and quite fun.

Then I had the big event as it where a Fundus Fluorescein Angeiography Basically in super easy to understand Jemma speak they inject you with dye and then take loads of pictures of the back of your eye.

The dye is essential so that the doctor who gets the pictures can see the blood vessels and stuff at the back of the eye, its the whole point of the test. I was told about the risks and  that it would turn my wee florescent yellow, like the colour of Gus'  harness and that my skin would probably turn yellow too. when the dye hits the blood vessels of the stomach it would probably make me feel sick and quite often people are sick, sometimes people also become breathless and faint, and rarely people have a minor skin reaction such as a rash. Then I got the talk about the possibility of going into anaphylactic shock and death and the need for resuscitation.

At this point I defiantly started to get nervous, I love the way that after telling me that there was a slim chance of having a sever reaction and death the nurse took my blood pressure and heart rate! I'm sure you can guess what that was like.

Then I got injected with the dye, I was very impressed that the nurse managed to find a vein on her first attempt and in the dye went.

You will be pleased to hear that I didn't die instantly or puke all over them, but I did fell very sick and the room did spin for a few seconds and then all was fine. Oh and the nurse was right my wee is still very very highlighter yellow! 

So then I went and sat in the big waiting room with no comfy chairs or water fountains, even worse I was sat with a window behind me that had to be kept locked, it was rather hot! Luckily I was not sat there long and consultant called me in I'm going to abbreviated what he said and simplify it a bit.

Basically because I am short sighted and my eyeball is the wrong shape it has developed weak areas,  in these weak areas blood vessels have formed that should not be there. These blood vessels have popped a bit, it might have been a few of them or just one, so there is a collection of blood in the jelly bit of my eye. The blood will take about 6 months to be reabsorbed into my body and go away, but the blood vessels will not go away.

This is the bad news bit, there is every chance that I will have another submacular haemorrhage it could be bigger and completely destroy the vision in my right eye leaving me with nothing in that eye (my left eye is completely fine),  Or I could never have another bleed again.

Nothing can be done about the collection of blood already in my eye nature just needs to let it slowly filter away, which means I will have up to 6 months of living with this bloody floater popping in and out of my vision, trust me its annoying.

As for the blood vessels causing the problem, there is a treatment but it is not currently available on the NHS for my condition, so we would have to apply for funding.

It's very rare for it to happen to someone my age, because it is my most rubbish eye that has been effected the consultant I saw was a unsure as to in his opinion it is worth treating, I informed him that I don't want to lose the vision in my eye without a good fight first, so he is taking to the professor and will ring me next week.

I need to add quickly that this does not normally happen to people who are short sighted at my age, it sometimes happens to people with other eye diseases when the are over the age of 75 so nobody panic.

So in short I got a lot more info today about whats going on and although it is bad news I intend to fight if the professor thinks the treatment will improve the condition of the back of my eye, it will not get rid of the blood that's already leaked or make my sight any better but it could stop me having a giant hemorrhage and losing it all.

Eye Casualty

After a night of worrying and not hearing anything I got a phone call from my mum who was equally worried, she (with my permission) rang The Eye Unit to find out what was going on.

She was told basically that I needed to get to Eye Casualty as soon as possible.

So I got a few bits together got ready and headed out.

I got as far as the PELICAN crossing outside my halls and had to turn back, someone had smashed a tonne of glass all over the pavement and the crossing, I can't see glass so only knew when I was already stood on it.

Gus cut his paw, he refused to move so I did what I am trained to do in situations such as this, I picked him up, I got a few paces and he decided he was not having any of it so bit me, I dropped him, it was a true comedy moment, he did then decide to move however! I dashed back to halls and the residence manager bandaged up my dog and cleaned the wound, it was very small.

Then there was the frantic OMG I don't know what to do panicked phone call to my mum, who told me to go straight to Eye Casualty because they where very concerned and sort Gus out later on.

So I got a TAXI to Eye Casualty saw the receptionist, who again could not find my notes.

I sat for an hour or 2, had a distance vision test and waited a bit more.

My notes where somehow found and I saw a doctor.

The doctor apologised for me being told to go in to Casualty, and told me that the doctor I saw yesterday had written a letter to a consultant to get him to look at my notes, the consultant would then decide when I needed to be seen and what tests I need and I will get a letter in the post.

In the meantime my macular has been bleeding, and they have no idea why. There is nothing they can do at eye casualty because they only deal with problems at the front of the eye there. 

However if it gets any worse before I get a letter I need to ring them up straight away and head down, they can't do anything about it in eye casualty but they need to know.

So I have to wait for a letter to get loads of tests done, who knows what it is so its still just a worry at this stage.

So I left eye casualty having completely wasted my time and TAXI fare and a whole day I could have spent working on the 3 assignments I have due in eminently and headed for coffee.

Got coffee and rang vet, got  an appointment.

Got the bus into town then got more cash out (TAXI's are VERY expensive) and another coffee and headed to the vets.

Saw the vet who commended the managers first aid skills, he had a good look and discovered that there was in fact some glass in Gus' foot. 

Gus was an angel and laid there rolling letting the vet have a poke around and try and get it out, he kicked the vet a few times, who was incredibly patient with Gus. 

The Glass would not come out so the vet and I decided it would be kinder to sedate Gus to get it out.

2 and a half hours later Gus was still very not with it and now had a lovely Green bandage and we where heading for another TAXI home.

At the time of writing he is a lot more with it, but is not a happy bunny, he is currently sitting on his bed giving me evils asking me to make the bandage on his foot go away.

It took him forever to come round from the sedation, I got back to halls and dropped a piece of pepperoni on his face and he did not even notice.

...And that blind girl will take over the world!

I have made a massive achievement, a huge leap in the steps of visually impaired people everywhere... I have beaten a fully sighted person at darts! I will add right now that the person I was playing was in no way drunk and I did not impede them in any way.

So yes you read correctly 'that blind girl' (as I  am often affectionately known)  played darts for the first time in her life and BEAT TOM!

Furthermore on this dangerous (for everyone in a pub sized perimeter) journey of immense discovery no one was harmed, I did not hit anyone with a dart, including myself and we all lived to tell the tale. In truth the fact that everyone in the surrounding area survived is possibly more impressive than the fact that I beat Tom at darts.

This is obviously a huge step forward for all the visually impaired people out there who ever considered playing darts, I had never played darts before in my life so here are my top tips on how to insure success.

1) Safety first- check you are facing the dart board, a little shout that you are about to throw the dart before you actually do will remind people that there is a game in progress and that if they do walk in front of you they will get a face full of dart.

2) Ask someone to hold your guide dog as far away from you as possible, Gus (my guide dog) was a bit fascinated by the throwing of objects, and was keen to intercept

3) If you can't see the dart board- Ask someone to stand in front of the board and shout, clap or stomp... insure they have moved before you throw the dart.

4) If you can see the dart board- Don't bother trying to aim, this was a fantastic failure in my attempts. I could not see the dart board with my right eye, but I could with my left so I attempted to throw the darts left handed, this was also a mistake as it was even less accurate and I think I pulled something!

5) The actual act of throwing  As long as you throw the dart pointy end first anything goes!

6) Scoring- Get someone with eyes that work to do the scoring, dart boards are tactile and colour coded but quite frankly have a rather confusing layout. 

So anyway darts lesson over I now know that I can do anything if I try hard enough, lets all have a hug and go and dance in the sunlight!

Friends with benifits

Now this I can safely say this post is not as X rated as its title may suggest, if only I was that lucky!

Recently student support at uni have been working with me to try and sort out a big, but infrequent problem.

Trips and off site activities keep being sprung on me, I am told for example the day before that I am going on a trip at 9am the next morning. Going to new places is very difficult, because if I don't know where I am going I cannot direct Gus and it becomes very difficult to get anywhere, I become more reliant on friends to show me where things are it makes trips that should be incredibly valuable learning experience incredibly stressful. 

So what can be done, well I have tried talking to the faculty and my level one tutor who was less than helpful, the general consensus has been 'its going to happen in life, get over it'.  Which is to an extent true, but when I am working as a full time journalist somewhere nice, I will get funding for support or use my own meticulous planning skills to the maximum avoiding the issue.

So anyway I'm working out the details with uni but it looks like we are going to implement a buddy system, only it can't be called a buddy system, it has to be something like orientation assistant instead. 

Anyway what will this job be, essentially a friend that gets paid!

Now some might say it is a Little worrying that i have to pay someone to be my friend, but the way i see it is that if they are my friend anyway then they are getting paid to help me out like they do already, possibly a slightly odd dynamic but I think its a great idea.

See friends with benefits.

Change will happen to ME

It seems strange to be writing about change as I have just changed the layout of this blog, it seems to be creating a little sub theme, but the change I am referring to here is a life change.

It's at this point I need to mention Beth and her blog 'Screw Bronze'; I have been following Beth's blog ever since the start of the Ouch project and she is a truly fantastic example of a human being, if you do nothing else today just pop over to her blog and have a read. Her latest post titled 'Badminton, illness and change' has really hit me and helped me with a change I am getting to grips with right now.

As I am sure readers will be aware I have a bone condition in addition to being VI its that (not so) little thing that everyone ALWAYS forgets about, but trust me I never forget about it!

My condition has always been one that is likely to flare up and deteriorate over time, I have always known this but today I have come to a bit of a milestone.

After walking down The (EFFING) Eiffel Tower and then yesterday (just as things where improving) managing to slip over in the mud I am having a very serious flare up.

My left hip and knee take it in turns to be very painful and I am really struggling to balance.

I have hit the point I always knew would happen, it is time to obtain a walking stick.

This is for me a bit of a big thing, I am possibly being a bit pathetic but now the time has come I am finding it rather difficult.

People will see me and Gus and then a stick I'm worried about what will go through peoples heads, questions they might ask and the reactions of my friends, acquaintances and complete strangers.

Reading Beth's blog has made me realise, its just an adjustment to a new normal for me and everyone else, I have no need to feel self conscious or concerned about peoples perceptions and prejudices.

I am ME; a stunningly beautiful, 20 year old, independent. visually impaired woman who sometimes needs to use a stick to get about and more importantly I will not be ashamed of what I am.

OK its a change for me to think about using a stick, but it will only be a change for so long, and then it will become the norm, nothing will be different.

Review of 2009 > Hopes for 2009

It's 2009  so I wanted to wish all readers a happy new year and wish you all a happy, healthy year filled with great stuff!

I also thought I should write some kind of reflection on 2008 and my hopes for 2009, so here it goes.

2008 started with a new relationship, which at the time was fantastic, however 6 months later it became very apparent that it was wrong for both of us to continue how we where, we where in hindsight simply too different; that was the end of that. At the time devastating but now it was the right thing to happen.

The first half of the year was pretty mundane, I was ticking over at college, with a unconditional offer I didn't NEED to be there, naturally motivation to continue diminished, leaving me running at tick over, putting in lots of effort was pointless.

Of course lets not forget that for the first half of the year I was in the deep, darkness of major depression trying to find an anti-depressant that worked for me and wondering if I would ever be the same person again. I went on some horrible meds in this time that made me ill or seemed to improve my condition for a few weeks and then caused me to drop back down with a big bump, I remained on the end of a very long waiting list for further treatment on the NHS, and felt rubbish!  

Eventually my fantastic (now former) GP got me on the right medication for me, everyone is different and it takes time to find these things, but things started to look up.

Then in May I got a phone call that has completely changed my life,  a call form Guide Dogs to say they thought they had a match for me, the match of course being Gus who you will all know the story of.

At the end of June, begging of July Gus and I trained and my life changed hugely for the better, he really is guide dog of the year material!

Not only did this mark the start of me and my boy it marked the end of college and time to start preparing for the move to university, big but positive changes where afoot.

September saw the start of university which is fantastic, breaking news day which was utterly terrifying but probably good, and meeting all the new people. Gus and I continue to have a fantastic time at univeristy, I think Gus sometimes wishes there where more dogs at university to play with but over all he loves it.

( HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL MY NEW UNI BUDDIES!! see you Monday.)

Sadly 2008 also saw the end of my guest blogging for Ouch! I hope to be able to do more stuff with the team in the future but for now I am incredibly thankful for the opportunities they gave me as a teenager with no idea what to do with there life they helped me to find my path and follow it!

So what about 2009? 

I have many hopes for the year, my first of which is to try and be less of a complete wuss, I need to have more confidence in my writing ability, not something that can be done over night by anymeans but a year should be a start.

I hope to be off my anti-depressants by the end of 2009, I am now in recovery but the medication I am on is rather a high dose and highly addictive, so this is more of a challenge than it may seem to some, I am determined to get there and hope that 2009 will see me in a true state of recovery!

I hope Gus has a healthier new year, that is accident free and good for him.

I all ready have a lot of things planned for the new year, lots of which you will probably hear about here first so I would also like to take a moment to thank you all for reading this crap!

Disability Discrimination-it's still happening

Today I went out for a lovely meal with one of my very best friends, we had a great time and it was very nice over in Gunwarf Quays this evening. There was a brass band playing Christmas hymns lights up everywhere and a generally nice Christmas atmosphere. However all of my Christmas spirit disappeared thanks to a security guard. 

I was in Boots in Gunwarf, when the security guard asked me to leave, repeatedly.   I had done absolutely nothing wrong, I was stood with my friend looking at toothbrushes, and Gus was sitting at my side good as gold.

The security Guard came over and pointed at Gus and said ‘not allowed in here’, his English was by all accounts terrible.   I explained that Gus is a Guide dog and that he is allowed in shops, the security guard, either did not understand or simply ignored me pointed again and said ‘not allowed in here’.

At this point I informed the guard that he was breaking the law and asked to speak to the manager. He said that the manager was not there and walked off.

This is the first time I have ever been asked to leave a shop, and it was because of one member of staff’s complete lack of disability awareness.

It really upset me, big time; I was shaking with a mixture of anger and sorrow at the time. I will be phoning the manager tomorrow morning to inform her of what has happened.

It really hit home also that I know some Guide Dog owners face this kind of discrimination every day, everyday they are stopped from going about there business by peoples complete lack of understanding.

Given all the press coverage that The Disability Discrimination Act (DDA) has got all over Brittan and the steps that companies have to take to make sure there services are accessible I am disgusted.

This example proves that disability discrimination is still a problem in the UK.

Asking me to leave with my guide dog is just the same as asking a wheelchair user to leave their wheelchair outside.

As a major chain Boots should know better, they should be training all their staff in all aspects of The DDA. Furthermore their staff should be able to communicate in and understand English, as I am sure this contributed to the issue I faced today.

Well there we have it a day ruined by the misunderstanding of one person.

I am a very passionate campaigner for disability rights and do all I possibly can to educate people on my own disability so that hopefully they can gain a better understanding of the barriers faced by people who are VI.

I thought we had moved on passed the stage where people are regularly removed from shops due to the presence of an assistance dog, apparently I am mistaken.

University begins

University life has begun I'm two weeks in now and thought I would share with you all the slide presentation that somebody made of our breaking news day.

Breaking news day was a mock up terrorist attack on a gas storage facility in Warsash! We interviewed eye witnesses, attended a press conference and then rushed back to produce the finished article.

Gus and I are settling in well to university life, unfortunately Gus has had a bit of a bumpy start and is at the moment temporally out of action but enjoying putting his paws up with nanny and granddad!

About me

I was recently asked to write a piece all about me and disability, the scope was to challenge perceptions and raise awareness of visual impairment, this is what I came up with.


About me
By Jemma Brown

Hi I’m Jemma I’m 19 and about to start at Solent University to study journalism. I currently live in Gosport although I will be moving into halls in a few weeks with my guide dog Gus. I have multiple disabilities including visual impairment and a mild mobility impairment. I have the philosophy that I can do pretty much anything, it may take me longer, I may do it in a different way and it may be more difficult but I will do it. This is all about my disability and how it affects my day to day life.

The eye stuff

The eye starts to develop from 12 weeks of pregnancy, when my eyes where developing they did so with a cataract, this damaged them in many different ways, leaving me with a collection of eye conditions. I was diagnosed as having eye problems when I was 8 weeks old I then had my first operation to remove the cataracts at 11 weeks.

My mum also has the eye condition as it runs in her side of the family, although she has considerably less vision than me. I also have a blind aunt and a partially sighted cousin.

Throughout my childhood my vision varied, at one stage it was thought that I may one day have enough useful vision to drive, however that was not the case.

Because of the cataracts the pupil in my eye did not develop as it should have. I had surgery when I was younger to make my pupils bigger as they where too small. As a result of the surgery my pupils cannot get bigger or smaller to adjust to changing lighting conditions. This means my vision is considerably worse in the sun and when there is not much light.

When I was 11 my eye condition deteriorated, as a result of the surgery I had when I was younger, the fluid inside the eye ball was not draining away properly causing increased pressure in the eye. This is known as glaucoma and is relatively rare in people my age. The build up of pressure inside the eye can damage the optic nerve leading to irreparable loss of vision. To attempt to control the pressure inside the eye I was put on medication, and have been on several different treatments.

Unfortunately in May of this year the pressure inside my eye was found to be higher than it should be, up until that point my glaucoma had been under control and stable for the last 4 years.

As mentioned earlier I have quite an extensive collection of eye conditions (I’m greedy!), so I’m going to give you a brief run down:

Nystagmus - involuntary eye movement. My eyes often wobble without my control, I don’t normally even notice. It produces some very interesting photographs though!

Photophobia- excessive sensitivity to light. (NOT the fear of light) I am dazzled by light; car headlights, reflections, street lights and the sun all make it more difficult to see. I have done A level acting so am used to working under bright lights when I can’t see a thing. Having Gus has really helped me to be able to get out and about in the sun or when it is dark. The annoying thing about photophobia is that it’s a no win situation, can’t see in the sun and can’t see at night because of all the lights that are around! (Clubbing can be an interesting experience)

Squint- a squint is when they eye appears to be ‘stuck’ in one position. For me this meant that I was severely cross eyed as a child, I had surgery and eye patch therapy to correct this, but my eyes often turn inwards. This is linked to Nystagmus, because the muscles in my eyes are weak and under developed.

Corneal oedema- excess fluid in the cornea causing it to become cloudy. I have to confess that I actually don’t know very much about this one as I was only diagnosed with it in May of this year. It can be caused by glaucoma or previous cataract surgery. Right now it is relatively mild in my case and sometimes causes me to have blurry vision.

Glaucoma- excessive pressure with in the eye leading to optic nerve damage.

Cataracts- the clouding of the lens.

So what can I actually see? There is no simple answer to that question. The vision in my right eye is not very good most of the time I can just see fuzz. With my right eye I can read the top letter of the eye chart from 2 feet away. Fortunately my left eye is a lot better than that. In perfect lighting conditions I can get quite a long way down the eye chart. My vision varies immensely, for example I can hardly see anything at all outside when it is sunny or dark.

I have issues with perception of distance because I have one eye doing most of the work. So I often misjudge gaps, bumping into door frames is a regular activity. Having rubbish perception of distances means that I am very uncoordinated and clumsy.

I also find it difficult to recognise people, don’t take it personally when you next speak to me and I have no idea who you are. Life would be a lot easier if everyone who spoke to me did so by starting off saying their name and how I know them.


The bone stuff

I have a slight mobility impairment because I have odd joints! I have hypermobility syndrome meaning that a lot of my joints have a larger range of movement than they should have. The main downside of this is that I have some very weak joints and sprain things quite easily, although I have some amazing party tricks with the odd things some of my joints can do! I also have some misalignment issues with the lower half of my body; I have twisted hips, a twisted pelvis and twisted tibias (tibial torsion). That’s a bit of a mouthful but all it really means is that my knees ankles and hips are not lined up properly so I have a few issues with them. The main problem that causes is going down stairs, I’m fine going up but I find going down stairs quite tricky and I lack balance.


About my life

My independence is incredibly important to me. At this stage in my life there are still things I find difficult and there are times when I have to ask other people to help me to do something, but I try to be as independent as possible. Reading is possibly the area where I need the most assistance from other people, its not that I can’t read, it’s that I can’t read ‘standard’ size print. The font size I use most of the time is 18 with a really bold typeface.

I think that having a disability gives me potentially better problems solving skills than a person without visual impairment. I am always coming up with adaptive ways for me to be able to do something. Usually the best solution is also the simplest, whilst on my duke of Edinburgh expedition I put pieces of blue tack on the compass to allow me to do bearings – simple but effective.

My independence whilst out and about has improved greatly since I got my guide dog Gus. Gus is my first guide dog and goes everywhere with me, he is great as he often guides me around obstacles that I don’t even notice. Gus also really enjoys finding things like crossing buttons, doors and bus stops; I can now also go out knowing that I am not going to bump into anything!

As previously mentioned I am a full time student and I am about to go to university to study for a degree in journalism. When I’m not studying I can usually be found out and about somewhere, I play a Paralympic sport called goalball as well as blind cricket. I’m a really sporty person and I enjoy going to the gym and playing most sports, I like playing and sometimes watching football, badminton, tennis and cricket. I will be the first to admit that I am rubbish at most sport due to a complete lack of coordination but I still enjoy taking part.

I am also a (apprentice) Guide leader currently working with girls and young woman ageing from ten to fifteen years old. Guiding is something that I really enjoy I have helped to run various camping events and also taken a team of girls to complete in a county football event. Being a guide leader gives me the opportunity to be a big kid taking part in carnivals and all kinds of activities. Through guiding I have done kayaking, archery, rifle shooting, rock climbing, abseiling, skiing, sailing… the list is endless. When I am not out having fun with the Guides I also work as an adviser on visual impairment at national level, I have helped to write a book on including people with disability’s in guiding activities. As well as delivering disability awareness training.

When I am not doing all of the above I also manage my websites and blog for the BBC’s disability website Ouch! Writing is something that I really enjoy and I hope to do a lot more of in the future, I am also hoping to harass the lovely people at Ouch! for some work experience!

As you may have gathered I am a very active person and I do not like to let my disability get in the way of what I want to do in life, I probably want the same things out of life as any other person regardless of disability. I think it is important to challenge people’s perceptions of disability and that many of the barriers people with disabilities face can be overcome, quite often it is other people’s attitudes that provide the biggest barrier for a person with a disability.

Well I passed

I have indeed passed all the AS and A levels I took this year at college, I also passed my level one British sign language which was good.

Gus came with me to pick up my results and was a bit hit with everyone we had a few photos of us taken which may be used in college publications.

Finally my DSA application is all sorted, I had problems because the equipment I need came about 2 thousand pounds over budget, but luckily some items have been changed a little bit and swapped around and it all now comes in budget and is being delivered in a few weeks.

I can't wait to get my 15.4 inch macbook pro!

It's been a while

Wow the gaps between my posting seem to get longer and longer, sorry!

Everything is a little mad right now, I have just come out of a relationship, I have to say it was the longest relationship I have ever had lasting a grand total of 6 months (just), it's taken me some time to adjust to being free and single again and get my head around are split, but in a way I'm pleased it happened now and not further on down the line. Really it’s the best thing for both of us because I'm busy training with Gus and I think he needs some time to sort his life out before he ends up wasting it!

So right now I'm sitting in a hotel room in Southampton that has been my home for the last week and will be my home for a further week, along with Gus my soon to be fully qualified guide dog. The training is tough in a variety of ways but we are both baring up really well, although Gus appears to have developed a slight cough.

The other people on the class are a little older than me and both have kids my age, but we all get on really well and have laugh about getting scrambled egg in our eye and having to have a bath after breakfast because I have spilt so much of mine all over me! We also have a great laugh about all the mad things our dogs do and great lengthy conversations about spending routines and anal glands over breakfast lunch and dinner.

The trainer is an apprentice GDMI and she is absolutely fabulous we all have great laugh and the atmosphere on class is amazing and very relaxed which makes us all nice and chilled and better dog handlers!

I was supposed to hear about halls by Friday and be told about my room allocation but I have not heard anything yet and apparently my final exam result for BSL should be through but I have not heard about that either so I'm waiting on the post!

some news and other useless information for your reading pleasure

Well first up I absolutely feel it is necessary to declare my extreme hate and disgust at my computer! For no apparent reason it is running slower and slower everyday it seems and I am battling against continuous crashes, freezes and general slowness!

The usual defragment's and disk clean-ups don't seem to be having an impact, I even removed a whole gigabyte of data from it and its still not speeding up, I fear its coming to the end of its life.

I have been trying to do a project using Windows Movie Maker this evening and it has crashed twice already, I have now given up on what I was trying to do after it got to the point where I had to unplug the computer and boot it up again!

So I'm here updating this, for your reading pleasure and about time too! Its probably karma telling me to vent to you all about the crapness of the technological situation!
(if there are any large computer manufactures out there I would like it to be known that all donations are great fully received!)

The huge moan aside the real reason I wanted to write was because I found out on Friday that training with Gus is defiantly going ahead and that we will be training residentially in a very posh hotel!

Its great news, if I had been given the choice I would have always preferred to do residential training, it being my first dog it will give us some really good quality time without Ian or anyone else being a distraction.

So we start training together on the 23rd of June and I am seriously counting down the days, I have a lot of stuff to do before I disappear off for a whole 2 weeks, not to mention another 2 A level exams to sit. I really can't wait to get stuck in to training; I know its going to be hard work but it's going to be worth it!

Apparently there are 3 of us on class with one trainer and the class is taking place in a really nice hotel in Southampton, I will spend 2 weeks residentially there and then another 2 weeks (ish depending how it goes) training at home. It's really good the training is in Southampton because I will be living there in September, it will give me a chance to get to know the place a lot better and hopefully learn some routes.

Bad health

I've been a little poorly of late unfortunately, my last post here was mostly focused on Gus, quite rightly too but I was also at the time battling against one hell of a virus and coming to terms with deterioration.

Well I'm glad to say I am feeling a lot better than I did when that was in full swing but I have had more health related issues.

Due to a change in my glaucoma meds and all the other meds I'm on I had to have an ECG last week, luckily that went OK, and my heart appears normal.

Then I started getting really bad nose bleeds, they were literally happening every day I had 2 on Thursday alone, at which point decided there was nothing else to be done but to go and see a doctor.

Luckily I managed to get an emergency appointment that day and after a few people informing me that I was probably wasting the doctors time as it was likely to be exam stress, I was off.

It turned out I was not wasting the doctors time at all. The virus thing I had really affected the blood vessels in my nose a lot, to the point where I had lots of them cauterised at the doctors on Thursday.

Basically they use a chemical on a swab to burn away at the effected blood vessels, its not nice, my nose felt very crispy and sore for ages afterwords!

Unfortunately I had another nosebleed on Saturday morning so it is yet to be seen whether it has really worked and weather the pain was worth it.

I'm still unfortunately getting over the virus it really hit me hard and I'm still finding it hard to talk sometimes and getting really tiered, probably not helped by having to just keep going through it (I'm mid A levels which does not help). I am feeling a lot better though and will hopefully be back to full fighting fitness soon!

A mixture of happenings

I think I already have a post with this title in the blog archive somewhere but really its sums thing sup so well I had to use it again!

First off I have picked up the latest bug that's going around, went down with it on Friday so have been feeling rather rough and had to have a couple of days off college. Talking of college my first exam was on Monday so that was perfect timing in terms of getting ill.

However it’s not really being ill, college or rubbish exams I wanted to blog about today it’s the happenings of Tuesday.

Tuesday morning I had the hospital for an eye check up which I was kind of worried about because of all the stuff the contact lens people.

Well the cornea mystery has been somewhat solved, I have another eye problem to add to the list cornea oedema. In English they a basically tiny little fluid filled cysts on the surface of my cornea that are microscopic, they make my cornea a little bit more cloudy than it should be. Right now they are not really causing a problem apart from I will never be able to wear contact lenses which isn't the end of the world.

Unfortunately my glaucoma was rather sky high in my left eye, it was 28 (18 is the highest it should be) but my right eye was not quite as high. The plan of action is to change my eye drops and luckily it hasn't affected my vision so here's hoping the drops sort it all out! I have to go back in 3 months for a check up; it’s a bit frustrating because my glaucoma has been well under control for about 4 years but meh these things happen.

Then in the afternoon I met Gus he is a black Labrador retriever who is going to be 2 years old this Saturday we went for a walk and it was decided jointly between all three of us, me Gus and the guide dog trainer T that we were a successful mach!

So I will be disappearing off to train on the 23rd of June and I'm counting down the days!

Gus is absolutely beautiful we walk at the same pace and he is lovely and tall I feel like we instantly bonded!

Here is a picture of us at the centre yesterday