This Blog has moved

Well I will never forget my routes, Blogger is where I started but it is somewhat time to move on.

I will never forget this site and am pleased to report that all my posts, comments and in general everything have been moved successfully, I think it will be safer in its new home, It will still update to face book and all of you who have visited DOAM over the years are more than welcome to stop by and leave a comment.

So anyway my new online home is www.jemmabrown.wordpress.com

This change needed to be made but I will be sad to see the end of regular updates here.

No pretending

I have spoken to my consultant again, turns out the treatment he was telling me about is not a long term option.

The injections only destroy the blood vessels for about 4 weeks, then the blood vessels grow back.

So it's not a long term treatment.

So the long term is;

I am almost defiantly with medical science in its present state going to go blind in my right eye, very little can be done about it.

It's time to stop pretending everything is going to be OK, I'm going blind in one eye, nothing anyone can say or do will make that any better its going to happen, sooner or later.

Of course the great thing about going blind due to haemorrhaging is that there is no telling when, I could have a huge haemorrhage tomorrow, or a tiny little one or I might not have another one for 20 years, by which point there may be some form of cure.

So I have in the last month gone from having an eye condition that is not curable, but not deteriorating any time soon, to having a problem with my right eye that's going to result in having no vision in that eye.

Life will go on, I will get used to the idea.

Climbing barriers repeatedly

This year at university has been great, but filled with issues and problems and barriers to my learning.

It is important to mention at this point that there have been some fabulous people, and some committed and brilliant lecturers who never fail to meet my access needs and think of me in every circumstance.

Then there are those people who don't help at all, who for  a time could not possibly produce a large print hand out for me... until of course they were reminded by me of a little something known as The DDA (Disability Discrimination Act). After that shocker people started getting me large print handouts, and copies of power point presentations as they happen so I actually know whats going on. (finally)

That was one major issue resolved for the most part, it took 8 weeks but hey-ho sorted now.

There have however been countless issues.... one after the other in a near constant stream. Every issue is another barrier for me to battle to clime over, wonky legs and all!

Climbing over these barriers and battling to insure that people understand, is quite frankly wearing me down. 

Most of the issues I am facing could be avoided, a little extra planning could go a long way or a little organisation!

The most recent thing that has happened is the start of semester 2, it starts on Monday and I am expecting another bumpy ride at least in the beginning. The time table has completely changed, I have new staff teaching me and new rooms to find. All of this is going to throw up issues,  I am expecting that there will be glitches and I am fine with that.

To try and smooth out issues before they happen I have asked that all my new lecturers see something called a 'faculty form'. Basically the faculty form states what ALL of my disabilities and conditions are, it states what I need in lessons and spells out the basics. 

I would much rather people know that I am disabled before I walk through the door it allows them time to plan there lesson and avoids embarrassment.

Well I emailed the people concerned as a little don't forget to look at my faculty form, I have now received a email, that I was copied into from the faculty office with a word document that I produced at the begging of the year that concerns my visual impairment, I was at the time trying to simplify things purely relating to my VI.

Everyone always forgets my other conditions they may be marginally less significant than my Visual Impairment at this moment in time but that will not always be the case, I would rather people where prepared.

There was no mention of my bone condition (the wonky legs and hyper-mobile joints), the one that makes standing still in the same place for periods of time difficult, makes me wobble and makes stairs tricky.

There was no mention of my mental health, I may be in recovery right now but I am still receiving treatment on my way to being fully well again without medication.

I have come to the conclusion they either don't understand what my faculty form is, or that its filed away somewhere and they can't find it.

I don't get it  the faculty form is the most basic and simple of things all I want is for all my lecturers to see it, surly it s not that difficult.

It may be wearing me down but I will just have to keep climbing over the barriers.

Can I also say a big thanks to all the people out there who have ever tried to remove an access barrier from any ones path, your actions make all the other barriers seem achievable and remind those of us who have to climb the barriers that there are people looking out for them.

Change will happen to ME

It seems strange to be writing about change as I have just changed the layout of this blog, it seems to be creating a little sub theme, but the change I am referring to here is a life change.

It's at this point I need to mention Beth and her blog 'Screw Bronze'; I have been following Beth's blog ever since the start of the Ouch project and she is a truly fantastic example of a human being, if you do nothing else today just pop over to her blog and have a read. Her latest post titled 'Badminton, illness and change' has really hit me and helped me with a change I am getting to grips with right now.

As I am sure readers will be aware I have a bone condition in addition to being VI its that (not so) little thing that everyone ALWAYS forgets about, but trust me I never forget about it!

My condition has always been one that is likely to flare up and deteriorate over time, I have always known this but today I have come to a bit of a milestone.

After walking down The (EFFING) Eiffel Tower and then yesterday (just as things where improving) managing to slip over in the mud I am having a very serious flare up.

My left hip and knee take it in turns to be very painful and I am really struggling to balance.

I have hit the point I always knew would happen, it is time to obtain a walking stick.

This is for me a bit of a big thing, I am possibly being a bit pathetic but now the time has come I am finding it rather difficult.

People will see me and Gus and then a stick I'm worried about what will go through peoples heads, questions they might ask and the reactions of my friends, acquaintances and complete strangers.

Reading Beth's blog has made me realise, its just an adjustment to a new normal for me and everyone else, I have no need to feel self conscious or concerned about peoples perceptions and prejudices.

I am ME; a stunningly beautiful, 20 year old, independent. visually impaired woman who sometimes needs to use a stick to get about and more importantly I will not be ashamed of what I am.

OK its a change for me to think about using a stick, but it will only be a change for so long, and then it will become the norm, nothing will be different.

Changes

Well regular visitors of my blog that can actually see my blog (sorry blindys) will have noticed that today there have been a few changes, changes to the theme, and layout.

I felt it was time to change and wanted both my blogs (don't forget Guiding Gus) to look similar, I was also becoming aware that my blog was not very VI friendly.

With any luck the change of colour scheme and layout will be like a breath of fresh air.

For all those reading this via facebook it doesn't change a thing.

Oh and while I am talking about facebook, apologies to all my FB readers blogger and facebook appear to have gone a little crazy and somewhere in hyperspace it massively messes up the format of my posts, there is nothing I can do so live with it!