Bad week

I have had one of the most ridicules emotional roller coaster weeks ever! Most of which has been on the down side of life. I find it so hard to write and be creative when my depressions taken hold and I am very aware that I want to blog both here and on Ouch! but I just don't have the ideas, or the drive. Here's a day by day account of my week!


Monday- Seems so long ago was OKish to start with but then as I was leaving bumped in to one of my teachers who had a bit of a go at me, informed me that I'm going to fail. Given the fact that I was a bit emotional due to the funeral on Tuesday this didn't go down well. Put me further down in to a deep low. I was so low in fact I couldn't go to guides.


Tuesday- Well Tuesday was expected to be bad I had to contend with going to see my GP which always fills me with fear, and going to the funeral of my godmother.

The GP was terrifying, she did actually remember to come and find me, which was at least one plus. Then I was slightly shocked as she asked me how she could help today and I was like "erm you told me to see you in two months" not the best start, I suppose I needed to feel remembered. Told her how bad things were how I can't concentrate academically and that I rarely sleep before 1 am. Basically the out come was an increase in dose of my med's and shes trying to speed up the counselling referral, other than that I get the impression there is absolutely nothing anyone can do!


The funeral was very sad as expected, it was a lovely service tho they read out a poem written by my godmother sue when she was just ten, i cry'ed from start to finish and I'm not ashamed of that it shows how much i care about her. I still cant quite process that she will never come to stay with us again and I will never hear her call me 'widget' ever again.


Wednesday- I approached with dread, its my busiest college day and was somewhat boring to say the least. the teacher of one of my courses really doesn't like me, or my Friend I don't no why she has to make it so obvious she doesn't like us. I hate to think what my report is going to look like.

Thursday- well that was interesting I have finally finished the immense horror that is the UCAS application form! hurrah!! so I had to pay for that and do all the running round college like a headless chicken trying to sort it out stuff.

Then I had a meeting with the head of LSU I was completely terrified but it went OK, she wants me to be more independent, its all she goes on about, kinda annoys me but never mind. Then the next thing she talked to me about Biology I'm rather behind, so I'm getting a session a week with the head of LSU to try and help me catch up.


Friday- This is where the emotional roller coaster cane in, I was HIGH! seriously I was really like me and I wasn't low, it was just so bloody random don't get me wrong a high is a nice thing when you have been low for so long but it was just so out of the blue, J even said I looked more "animated" I don't really understand what that means. In hindsight I have realised that the high was probably due to the increased dose of antidepressants and the beta blockers!


Basically that was last week.

One for my fans!

I shall be appearing on BBC radio 4 tomorrow at 5:30pm!

I will be on a show called iPM, discussing why I am not the greatest fan of mobility scooters and that there are calls within parliament to introduce a mobility scooter driving test.

It is possible to listen to the show anytime after it is aired at 5:30pm tomorrow, so I expect you all to listen and tell me how fab I am.

click here for there website.

Its very exciting especially as I am actually going to Roehampton university's open day tomorrow and the BBC are paying to get me a cab from Roehampton to there studio and back again.

I'm massively excited, especially as I am going in to journalism!

Bad news

I got the news today that my godmother died in the early hours of this morning, she was diagnosed with terminal cancer last thursday so in a way its a blessing it was quick.

Contacts two

Well today was my second contact appointment, gosh there strange!

I will only be able to have contacts for distance vision, I will then need reading glasses.

Overall it didn't go to badly, it still might not work out, the latest concern is that after only half an hour of having them in I was getting dry eye, but as the opthermolegist said "suck it and see" there is no way of knowing until it happens.

Today was a little frustrating if truth be told, I was expecting today to be stick lenses in eyes try 'erm for a bit and then learn how to take them in and out and clean them and stuff. Today was only stick 'erm in and see what happens day, kinda feels like we didn't really get anywhere.

So now I have to wait for another appointment before I can actually start getting used to lenses some of the time, its all so slow!

Wow it's been a long time!

Sorry dear readers I havn't blogged in a while, I have had a truly manic few weeks, infact last week I was at college all day and out every evening.

This entry is basically going to be a boring update on whats been happerning in my life.

I tuned 19 last wensday(31st of October), I offically feel rather old, its like I have made that transition from child to adult its quite strange, i feel like I should be responcible, reliable and mature, not really sure weather im any of those things but never mind.

Other than that everything else that has happened has been rather negative, I've just found out my godmother has terminal cancer, thats really bad.

I had a really rubbish week at college last week, to be honest I have been in a low patch for the last 3 ish weeks, but I think I'm finally on my way out of it, but I havnt felt like I could blog, have had some serious insomnia going on!

Anyway lets not depress everyone now, I'm currently working on a project writing a piece called "love bites" hopefully it will go well, not sure yet.